(Chorus of Chumps sing with kazoos and ukuleles)Haaap-py Birthdaaaay to you!
Haap-py Birthday to you!

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Haaap-py Birthday, Dear Publicity-Shy-Author-of-Recalcitrant-Masterpieces-of-Post-Modern-Am-er-i-can-Fict-ionnnn
Haaap-py Birth-day tooo Youuuuu...!!!
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